An early new year
It’s odd how a year ago I felt somewhat secure. My financials were relativley in order, I had a job that I held for four years, and I was going to school and achieving a stable 3.0 GPA.
Another lesson learned as I systematically dismantled that formula with a well practiced form of self-destruction. I quit my job out of frustration, without obtaining another job in advance. Then—not content with that—I dropped all of my fall semester classes as I struggled under the stress of NOT having a job and dealing with a wealth of other things.
There is no control now, and most—if not all—of it is a product of my doing. The result of this tumultuous three months has left me afloat, in a sort of purgatory as I try my best to find a way out of it.
Thankfully, there is a lesson learned in everything that we do.
- I have learned to pick my battles.
- I have learned to take responsibility for my actions, instead of running from them and blaming problems on outside forces that have nothing to do with it.
- I have also learned that thinking you can do something is a lot different than actually doing it.
- Most importantly: I have learned that in order to achieve what you want, you have to work hard for it. (you think I would have gotten that earlier in life)
- And no matter how hard you try, you must accept that some dreams will not be reached.
There are good days, horrible days, and medicore days. But I look forward to my final year before transffering out, and look forward to working on my weakness while improving my strengths.
