Why I am tired of waiting
So, unfortuantley my tumblr has turned into a place to dump my random thoughts. I suppose this is what a blog is essentially used for, but I apologize if a majority of these blogs come off whiny (that is a word)
Today was relatively good. My internship at University Link is coming around nicely, with some odd changes taking place that have me both excited and nervous. The lack of a steady income (other than my writing income, which frankly is less than I am used to making) has taken quite a toll on my psyche. I imagine many other people in these times are facing this, and I sympathize and hope they make it through it all as well.
My career path is fruitful, though the fruits yielded are typically lemons. While I understand that dreams are not fulfilled instantly, I still feel disinfranchised due to the amount of work I put in and the rewards I recieve. On one hand I am gaining tons of valuable experience, but on the other I am performing work for little to no pay. This is something that has weighed heavy throughout the months and has seriously whittled at my self confidence and happiness.
Money means everything and nothing. It’s a odd paradox, which leaves me still trying to learn the lesson I imagine it is trying to teach me. Without money I feel unaccomplished and worthless, as if my talents mean little to nothing in the “real world.”
I do admit that I have put-off finding “normal work” because of my hope that my experience can point me otherwise. I have applied to a few places now, only to suddenly have other offers thrown to me that are, of course, non-paid. An example of this is an interest by an editor at IGN.com.
The day that I apply for a retail job, my internship inquiry at IGN comics is possibly anwsered. The problem is that it demands two to five days of my time during the spring semester. I am BOOKED during spring semester, with classes running monday through thursday and ending at 3 p.m.
The internship—if I was to take it—would take up two of those days, leaving the rest of the weekdays to working at another job. That other job might hopefully include a permenant position at the current publication I intern at, which would demand ALOT of my time throughout the week. So I am left with a impasse.
Do I take the IGN internship (a publication that I dream to work for) and try to work a steady job at a real publication. OR do I drop the publication I intern at now, take the IGN offer (if it comes to that), and then work a normal job on the weekends.
The way current events are unfolding, something tells me that something out there is hoping that I stick to my dreams, regardless if they pay. I just wish that “something” would speak a bit more clearly.
